I haven't felt this way in a long time.

A month or so ago, I gave my dad my iPod touch since he wanted one. So I haven't had the pleasure of having an iPod in a long time. This was probably one of the best decisions that I have made in a while. Of course I was bored to death the first weeks where I was sitting on the subway commuting back and forth, and so I decided to start reading the books that Stephanie had laying around.

I had forgotten what it's like to get engrossed in a book. I used to read a lot. I mean, it's probably why my English is so good. But I stopped, somehow. I'll read a bestseller if it gets enough hype, just because I want to know what everyone is talking about, but I haven't gone and picked up a book out of my own accord in a long time.

Recently I decided to order some books by Murakami Haruki off the internet. I have read numerous short stories by him and me reading his novels was something that was seriously overdue. I don't know why, I always just forgot about it, even though I told myself that I had to read every one of his books. He is just that kind of writer.

Anyway, I started reading Norwegian Wood today on the train because I had to go into the city.
It is not so much the story that is amazing, as it is the genuine human interaction that he is able to convey. The dialogue is so simple, and yet I can understand exactly how things are being said. His way with words is breathtaking. That's really the best way I can describe it. Whenever I pick my head up from reading anything that he writes, I find myself being attacked by an overwhelming sense of melancholy. I feel like Murakami is able to write exactly what is in the depths of my mind. His characters are so human.

It is kind of like how I felt when I finished reading The Little Prince the other night. I was shocked at how simple a book could express exactly everything that I believe in.

After my checkup, I sat in a cafe eating a grilled cheese sandwich and read to myself.

I say that I haven't been in a mood like this for a while because I usually find myself either stricken with grief, or so happy that I could explode. The only thing that I can think of that usually brings me to such a quiet, middle ground is when I used to listen to Plastic Tree a lot.

I don't know how I would describe this feeling.
It's neither happy nor sad, although it is probably more bittersweet than anything. I find it hard to smile but I have nothing to be sad about. I just want to sit in silence and watch the world around me. I can feel every part of my body, and I am conscious of the movements that I make.

Haha, I almost wanted to walk to the corner store and buy a pack of cigarettes on the way home. I wanted to feel the smoke in my lungs... I was in that kind of mood.

Anyway, I don't know what I am saying, to be honest. Murakami writes beautiful things, that's my point.