“though you probably know all about this yourself, and blamed yourself enough
i have a feeling that im going to regret saying this right after sending it to you…
delete this mail right now if you dont want to get hurt even more.
people that you and i know told me that youre like a cancer that cant be cured…
like cancer, you spread everywhere and destroy things, leaving scars after your footsteps…
but cancer is just doing its job… it has no intension to hurt people…
maybe there is a way to cure it, but cancer can never cure itself.”
Ryota wrote this to me in an email.
I was reading my old Livejournal. It's like I forgot about all that happened, even though it was a little over a year ago. My entries were so depressing. They were always so depressing, from even before my relationship with Riku fell apart.
Did I grow up? Did my view on relationships grow up? Did I just meet someone who was better for the kind of person I am? All three? I don't know.
It's amazing how far away all of that feels. I feel like I'm a completely different person with a completely different life.
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